Follow Annabel on Twitter!
Last week was a huge week for SurvivorAU. Back to back blindsides undoubtedly triggered some difficult feelings for all of us. To help you repress these memories, this week, the Spice Rack simplifies the contestants into digestible dating stereotypes, which will also hopefully help you pinpoint exactly who you should be aiming your latent aggression at.
SHONEE – Out of Your League
– Leaves you on read for 4 days then sends through her Venmo deets
– Not impressed by your Soundcloud raps
– ‘Oh sorry babe, I totally forgot! But yeah we should def catch up some time’
BRIAN – Footy Dad
– Beers with the boys
– ‘Babe, what happened to that fiddy bucks?’
– You can’t stay mad coz he made you laugh
FENELLA – Manic Pixie Meme Girl
– 3am texts about weird shit, but not even high
– Loyal AF (for now)
– Last breakup was ‘totally hilarious’
BENJI – F Boy
– Gaslighting, but buys you breakfast
– Leaves you on read for 2 months, then ‘soz bb was out of signal in the jungle’ (New York all over his Insta stories)
– Your parents love him
MAT – ‘Nice Guy’
– ‘Babe, are you sure you need another drink?’
– V interested in your traumas
– Great with kids
STEVE – Beef Cake
– Protein shakes
– Doesn’t talk, but good bod
– ‘No babe, I want you to finish first’
SHARN – Student Body President
– 4am hikes in the mountain
– Great listener
– You think you playing her, but she playing you
MONIKA – Sugar Baby
– V expensive
– Your dad likes her a bit too much
– ‘Hahaha he’s just a friend, I just really get along with older men’
Contributing Writer: Annabel Claire
ALL IMAGES USED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE COPYRIGHT CHANNEL TEN & ENDEMOL SHINE. THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG AND ALL VIEWS ARE MY OWN.
