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This week at the Spice Rack we bring you EXCLUSIVE ACCESS diary excerpts from the Plebs tribe, washed up from the island. Alas, production assures me that nothing happening at the Celeb camp is worth reading about, so if you had a particular hankering to know what goes on inside the head of footballers you are fresh out of luck.
Dear Diary,
I don’t know how many more times I can reassure Zach his ass looks good in those pants. I am starting to think no outer-suburbs off-the-plan apartment can possibly be worth this.
To take the cake, Mum is gone.
I am living the Millennial nightmare – trapped in the middle of nowhere with no brunch, no parental support, and abundant 1950s misogyny. Considering faking a particularly brutal attack of gastrointestinal distress but may not have to if the Z-word opens his mouth again.
Much love,
Fenella
Dear Diary,
Pulled a pretty sick move…. Missing Teegs…. And the kids…. But uh…. Aw yea… things are pretty good I guess… yeah…
Heath
Dear Diary,
Worst.Wing-man.Ever.
The bro has gotta go.
Can’t have him cramping my style – never gonna hook up with Miss Universe at the merge feast if old mate is there rating her out of 10.
Dunno how to do this without pissing off the boys.
Man.
Gotta stop picking my allies based on the size of their biceps.
Xoxo Robbie
Dear Diary,
Came up with a fully sick idea for next season: Gym Bros vs. Gym Bros vs. Gym Bros
Just cut the crap (women) out altogether.
Give the people what they want: more muscle, more me.
My powers of perception amaze me.
Production has not seemed keen but will pitch to Probst when doing my winners lap.
Love BIG BOI Zach
Dear Diary,
Looking fabulous, feeling fabulous, doing fabulous.
It’s almost like I have been photographed on the beach my whole life or something? BORN FOR THIS.
I can tell Benji wants a slice. He’s not gonna get it. ‘Self made millionaire’ my perfect ass. Baby girl settles for nothing less than Sydney property ownership.
He doesn’t need to know this.
Harnessing the power of the snake in the iconic Britney Spears performance.
Yours truly,
Shonee
Dear Diary,
I will have such revenges on you both,
That all the world shall – I will do such things,
–
What they are, yet I know not: but they shall be
The terrors of the earth.
– (Queen) Lear aka Tegan
Contributing Writer: Annabel Claire
ALL IMAGES USED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE COPYRIGHT CHANNEL TEN & ENDEMOL SHINE. THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG AND ALL VIEWS ARE MY OWN.
Where is Benji’s diary entry? 😂