Another Survivor couple bites the dust! And I really liked this one too, dammit! As usual, Melbournian and Super Fan, Annabel Fidler, joins me with her Spice Rack, and the awesome cartoons are by Able & Game.
To the recap…
Episode 6: Days 14-16
TARA TANTRUM
The moment we were all waiting for after Aimee’s blindside… WHAT WOULD TARA DO?! The lady was mad, and rightly so. Tara went off at Peter (who did nothing wrong) and everyone else for being strung along by the puppet master, and AK said it best – she did nothing to make Peter want to join her in an alliance again! Mwahaha. #TeamAk Use your words wisely, Tara.
Tara cannot handle being run over by AK and she confides in Locky and starts crying for the whole tribe to see! That’s what confessionals are for, Tara! Did she forget that AK and Tessa were in the exact same position only days before??
I also think AK is just annoying Tara on purpose (chaos!!)… Samatau won the reward challenge and all he wanted to was get everyone to look for a hidden immunity clue! What a shit stirrer, hahaha. Looks like there wasn’t one, but Tara just wanted a nice family BBQ with no hidden agendas. Oops!
LUKE PROPELS TO THE RESCUE
Holy cow, little Sammy gets caught in a rip…
Samoa doesn’t have red and yellow flags, clearly! THANKFULLY, Luke dives into the waves to help a friend. What a top bloke. Bet Mark was jelly he wasn’t the hero…
Meanwhile, onlookers on the beach were flabbergasted!
FAUX-GA SUSPICIONS
Sam is suspicious of Henry being a yoga instructor and rightfully so. Sarah is also on to him doesn’t believe his bull shit one bit.
Sam watches on as Henry teaches his daily yoga class on the beach and calls him out on ‘just doing stretches’…
And then when Sam asks Henry where he got his accreditation from, he’s like, “aww, yeah, nah, I’m not really a professional yoga instructor”. Seriously?! It didn’t even sound convincing. Dear, Lord. Nevertheless, when you have noobs like Luke and Jericho around, you ain’t the biggest fool 😛
POWER COUPLE BATTLE
Poor Henry is SO. F*$&ING. BORED. He’s been trying to get rid of powerhouse Gashy (Sam) since Day 2, and break up the power couple that is Mashy (Mark & Sam… I just made that up). It’s been a long time since the ZenHen tried to overthrow a challenge, and with the perfect opportunity coming up in the immunity challenge he gives it one more crack! Henry wants himself and Jacqui to be the NEW power couple… Oh helllll no! Get rid of one, form another. Anyway, he puts himself on the final puzzle of the challenge and pulls off a brilliant act. OK, so he looked a little awkward and I do wonder if anyone did pick up on him putting his ‘spaced out’ look on, but you have to give him major kudos for it! His plan finally worked! Gotta say, both Adelaide boys are killing it out there right now 😉
STEALTH OR CREEPY?
With Sam feeling uncomfortable going into tribal, her partner in crime Mark decides to do his own ops work on other tribe members. But I feel like Mark went from quiet and stealth, to just quiet and creepy!
Mark is pretty confident he can 100% read people due to his time in the military… But when you put on a face like that it’s not very inviting to share secrets!
ANOTHER MARATHON BITES THE DUST
Sam’s Survivor run ended in what looked like a blindside, but it was obvious she knew she was going home. She had her bag all packed to go. And it was so evident after Jacqui’s hilarious dig at Sam…
Unfortunately, Sam’s life in the game seemed doomed from the start when her ‘social’ or ‘paranoid’ game came to surface. And her relationship with Mark definitely didn’t help either. When you have people like Henry and Luke on the tribe who want to be in the forefront of every vote, you’re going to have trouble moving forward, especially in a power couple situation. I don’t think there was anything else Sam could have done to stay, other than winning immunities! AND not be a strong woman! Alpha males don’t seem to like those types… Just take a look at the women left on Asaga… Yep. Just sayin’! Sucks to lose such a strong player, and I would have liked to see her last longer. But better going home for being a threat than a weakling. #TEAMGASHY! Sam-9, Michelle-2.
Episode 7: Days 17-18
LOCKY’S CATCH OF THE DAY
Locky is feeling the pressure of being the next to go, so what does he do? Attempt to the be Ozzy Lusth of Australian Survivor and be the sole provider at camp. Locky brings home a shark! Boy is his tribe happy… He is so going home soon.
A KNOCK-OUT CHALLENGE
The tribe walk in and Samatau’s reaction to Sam going home last tribal was so nice! AWW. Maybe Locky and Tara were hoping they could work with her… Interesting.
But to the challenge, who doesn’t love a good mud duel?! And Samatau wins their second immunity challenge in row!
THE MATCH UPS
Ziggy v Jacqui – There was no chance for Jac the six pac queen. Let’s not forget Ziggy has abs too! 😉
Jarrad v Mark – WOW, what a gutsy effort by the sacrificial lamb. Jarrad put up a hard-fought contest and on his second attempt he made just a little harder for Mark to knock him off the platform. Coz let’s be honest, he was just getting bashed around in Round 1! Really appreciated the respectful hug by Mark afterward. Such good sports!
Tara v Odette – Tara was pretty hopeless, it looked like she gave up straightaway. Even if it was pure exhaustion, she kept turning her back at Odette which just helped her being pushed off even more! Oui…
Tessa v Michelle – Oh jeez, Michelle looked petrified before it even started! And she got knocked off in no time at all…. Eek! Michelle, camping is pretty much a 3-star hotel for me too 😉 #snobs
Locky v Luke – no dacking this time around! In Round 1, Locky takes about half a second to knock Luke off the platform. BAM, and the Bogan’s gone! :O
Henry v AK – Sorry AK, you got totally owned by Henry… Hahaha 😛
Kent v Peter – Kent actually had a good strategy by staying on his knees. He has the stature and weight to make it work and Peter could not move him at all!
Anneliese v Sarah – HAAAA. Anneliese, girl, you had your game face on! Sarah had no chance against that look alone! Also, Anneliese has a little more meat on her which helps.
THE YOUNG LAD SPEAKS
OMG, his voice is so unexpectedly deep, and I like it. Haha! Young Benny doesn’t believe Luke that Henry and Jacqui are in a tight alliance. Oh deary me… seems like Ben will just be sucked into Henry’s dream space and float along until he eventually gets blindsided. But hey, at least he’s starting to get confessionals, right?!
THE FIGHT FOR AUTHORITAE
The man who doesn’t appreciate authority is planning to take down every power couple in his sight. Mark suddenly has a half chance of staying as Luke tries to gather his troops. But seeing how it all plays out and the grip Henry has over the others, Luke just didn’t have the numbers; only Mark and Jericho! This is like the Joan vote all over again. He didn’t like someone else calling the shots so he just goes rogue. How long will his antics last? The sheep – Ben, Michelle and Odette – voted Henry’s way and it will be interesting how they all move forward. I’m not sure how long Henry will last in a power position either, but he’s doing very well at the moment, and I can definitely see him playing for the jury. At tribal, I couldn’t help but laugh at Jacqui’s face when it came to anyone playing an idol. The vote was a lock and it was totally edited, but still…
As for Mark, he put up a good argument at tribal, and I think he knew he was going home. With his social game (Sam) gone, there wasn’t much hope left as the damage had been done. There was no way anyone was going to change their vote. He was just lucky Luke hates being told what to do! Mark-7, Jacqui-3.
CRUSHES OF THE WEEK
Locky, YOUSE are quickly dropping off my crush list and it’s only week three! D: Also, I kinda can’t stand people who can’t say “YOU” properly. I had high hopes Locky, high hopes. 🙁 You can stay on the list for nabbing that shark, but I don’t think it’ll be for much longer. I’m sooo gutted to see my #bossbitch Gashy go, I feel like we didn’t get to see her full potential. She has a place on my crush list for the rest of the season. Jarrad makes his way up the list as well after his blazing effort at the last immunity challenge. Strength comes in many forms <3 This week I’ve also developed a really strange crush on Luke (Barb, I know you’ll laugh at this!), and he’s not normally my type. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!?!? I’ll finish this with Ziggy making her way up the ranks. Girl is HAWT. Not complaining.
THE SPICE RACK: WEEK THREE
Follow Annabel on Twitter
Get ready to get ~weird~ Week 3 on the Spice Rack: basically erotic Survivor fan fiction meets teen diary. #SurvivorAU is on fire this season; while I am yet to crown my official 2017 Crush, this is only because there is so much hot competition for my delicate fan feelings.
I was pretty devastated to see (Sam) Gashy go this week. I love a boss woman who isn’t afraid to go for what she wants. Alas, I suspect she would be the kind of girlfriend who would want you to wake up at 4am to go for a run with her, and that is a total deal breaker. But while Sam is far too energetic to make the crush-cut, she was one of my favourite characters this season so far. Both on Survivor, and in real life, one of my least favourite moves is hurting men by going after the women in their lives. You wanna have your little tussle to see who can be the manliest man on your man-island go ahead, I will watch with glee, but leave your long-suffering girlfriends out of it. That said, I think voting out Sam before Mark was the right move for Jacqui & Henry. I think Sam would have had a much better chance at reintegrating into the tribe than Mark did; I sincerely doubt her first reaction would have been sharpening the machete and creeping around threatening to murder people. She showed more strategic chops and better social skills than her leathery lover, but these weren’t the reasons the tribe gave for targeting her. Once they committed to breaking up the tight twosome, the rhetoric justifying Sam as their primary target seemed to be about weakening alpha Mark, rather than recognising Sam was the real power house.
I think this brings me to my complicated feelings for Henry and Jacqui. On one hand, I am very hot for this coupling. They are the sexy MILF/Man-Bun combo that Tara and Locky wish they were. On the other hand, I don’t know that they are going to live up to the popular Denise/Malcolm (Philippines) comparison. It isn’t just the confessionals, selected by production, that make Henry look overconfident. His core strategy is faking his entire personality and lifestyle; part of this could be genius, part of this looks like cocky showboating. Similarly, I love Jacqui’s sass and sense of humour, but I’m worried she doesn’t have Denise’s soft touch. At this stage I can’t tell if it’s my f**kboy radar bleeping, or I just need production to show me they can do that cuddly post-blindside aftercare too. Actually I know exactly what I want, and it’s some tears. I want a beachside bawling session, complete with daddy-issues and ‘I just want someone to hold me.’ Show me some vulnerability and top-tier man tears and I’m all in on #TeamHenqui.
But please don’t get me wrong, the hottest showmance this season is still 100% Luke and Jericho. Like the spicy prophet that I am, I predicted last week that Luke would be overcome by jealousy and declare war on Henqui. The show wants to tell us that Luke is concerned about tight twosomes gaining too much power, but I think we all know this is really about those cookies. It is every oil rig worker’s nightmare (I imagine) that he returns after weeks on the job to find crumbs in his man’s bed, and a yoga instructor (with more hair) in the kitchen. Lucky that Sarah has managed to slip under the radar, and Luke hasn’t realised the true extent of Jericho’s infidelity!
Crush Watch: Henqui are topping the list this week, but with the suspicion they would ghost me once I caught feelings. We were truly robbed of an Odette/ Ziggy match up in one of my all-time favourite mud wrestling challenges. We (well at least I) want more Odette/Ziggy ASAP please. Jarrad is still on my crush-radar too; I have faith he will be there to pick up the pieces once Henqui break my heart!
Stay cute and let me know who your crushes are this season!
Blog by Lynda Olson. Guest writer Annebel Fidler.
Follow Able and Game on Facebook!
ALL IMAGES USED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE COPYRIGHT CHANNEL TEN & ENDEMOL SHINE. THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG AND ALL GIFS AND VIEWS ARE MY OWN.
