This week I take some Lion King inspiration from one of my favourites of the season, and as always Melbournian/SuperFan, Annabel Fidler, joins me with her Spice Rack. We’re a bit weepy this week. The amazing cartoons are by Able and Game http://www.ableandgame.com
Episode 12: Days 27-28
SARABI’S BED AND BREKKIE
Well, we find out the REAL Ultimate Reward for Samatau was Ziggy receiving a nice bed and brekkie stay giving her more strength at the next challenge! Lucky gal. Fast forward and Ziggy arrives back at camp and here begins her ‘story’ about what actually went down at Exile. She goes into detail (and maybe too much) about how she can give someone in the tribe an advantage, and no one else can know.
Contrary to what others think, I thought she delivered it very well, but you just know AK would be the suspicious one. No matter what she said. There’s always one! I think it was clever of Ziggy to go down the Advantage route as it’s a plausible one; it’s been seen before. Sure she could have toned down on some of her story, but hey, much better than Nick’s ‘throne fit for a king’s speech last year. Haha!
ENTER THE BADLANDS – TRIBE SWAP!
Every season someone gets screwed over by a tribe swap. And there are the few who have the ability to scrape by, and I’ll get to Michelle later! Funny how only three people swapped tribes though… Suss!
The new tribes are:
Samatau – Tessa, Henry, Locky, Jarrad, Michelle, Ziggy, Anneliese, Ben.
Asaga – Sarah, Peter, AK, Tara, Odette, Jericho, Luke.
The reward challenge ends up with Asaga winning a whole lot of junk food, plus all of Samatau’s previous rewards. Highlights from this challenge:
TIMON AND PUMBAA FIND A NEW FAMILY
Peter and AK walk into their amazing new camp, aka Asaga, aka Pride Rock and AK JUST WANTS MALTESERS TO HIMSELF! I don’t blame the guy. It’s like primary school and seeing other kids have some weird shit in their lunchboxes and they wanna swap lunches with you, and you’re like *side eye* ‘uh no thanks’.
Whilst AK is excited to be at Pride Rock, complete with coconuts (Samatau had zilch), Tara tells us in a confessional to watch AK sweet talk everyone by telling them about his lovely girlfriend (no seriously, she is). And he does exactly that. Hahaha. Knowing they’re on the bottom, Peter (I’m still waiting to hear his dying walrus laugh) wants to keep working with AK and they try to pull in the likes of Sarah and Odette. Odette thinks AK is simply amaaazing. And Sarah admires AK’s hardcore game, and flirts with the idea of joining him.
On the flip side, Tara chats with Luke and Jericho about FINALLY voting out her #1 enemy. To her, AK is that stain not even Nappysan can remove from your clothes. Handy for her, Luke is ready to create some drama and tells AK that Tara and the girls wants him out and that he’ll work with him. At this point in the episode, I am FLABBERGASTED to see Luke in a confessional shown wearing AK’s top… I prepare myself for the worst…
Side note, has anyone else noticed how dark and dirty Peter’s legs are compared to others? No, just me? OK.
HERD WATCH: PRINCESS NALA
Princess Michelle is freaking out over at Samatau… But after realising how much champagne she can buy with $500k, she gets her social game on! This lady is chat, chat, chat and after talking Ziggy’s head off for (approx.) 3 hours, they find out she knows Ziggy’s boyfriend. Wow! She sadly thinks the more she talks the better… Hahahaha! No.
SCAR WINS, BUT LONG LIVE MUFASA
So, Asaga lose the immunity challenge, and the battle between Tara v AK is coming to an end…. *sheds a tear* Tara says getting AK out would be THE move of the game; this has been going on for the last five weeks! AK wants to work with this non-existent boys alliance and all hope looks lost as Luke is lying to AK “Bold and Beautiful” style (OMG I love that show). Tara is so excited AK is LEGIT going home this time.
Jericho actually says it best that he and Luke are more dangerous than anyone AK has faced at Samatau. Cookie Monster does come up with the goods! After some shifty movements at camp, AK realises he’s next in line on Luke’s trophy wall so he makes one last attempt at swaying Sarah. She’s always been keen in getting Luke out, so I’m not sure why she hasn’t tried to pull a move yet… What you waiting for, girl? Surely she could have pulled Odette in on this move? Obviously not. I feel like there is so much more to Sarah we haven’t seen; such a dark horse!
At tribal, I give credit to Tara finally putting on an act and pretending that she had no idea AK was going home. But AK… Oh AK. I had high hopes for him in my initial cast assessment. This guy played hard and fast from the start, more than what we ever thought we’d see on Australian Survivor! Major kudos to him for respecting the game and never giving up. He read people so well, pushed buttons to benefit his game, held back his emotions when necessary and in the end he was just too big a threat to keep around. Damn tribe swap! Haha. There wasn’t much else he can do. Long live the King!! Don’t worry, you’re in my Top 10 (SurvivorAU) list 😉 AK-4, Tara-2, Peter-1
Episode 13: Days 29-30
THE TROPHY WALL
Luke’s got rid of the King Pin and now has his eyes set on the witnesses, aka Peter. Noooo!!
Tara is so smug and thrilled about the vote out. She HELPED make this blindside. I think Tara has found her next alpha male to latch on in Luke! This guy has been calling the shots in such a way that he’s not seen as a threat. The larrikin, positive vibes at camp, the provider… Why wouldn’t you want to keep him around? Whilst the new BOSS is catching crabs, Sarah has other ideas and pulls in Peter. Could this be the start of a new power couple??
OPEN SECRETS SEASON
Everyone is telling everyone they have an idol this episode. Holy. Crap.
We see Ziggy, out of pure excitement of trust, tell Locky and Henry that she has an idol. And she kinda regrets in a confessional. It’s not a bad strategy trying to get three powerhouses to the end, but it definitely is difficult when you have so many players left in the game. Let’s be honest, there’s always a ‘dud’ in a Final 3. I hope this oversharing doesn’t ruin Ziggy’s game!
Locky and Henry think Ziggy is now a super threat and approach Anneliese to string along. Anneliese ain’t jumping into anything solid just yet and believes Henry has a hidden idol. She’s much more cluey than the boys think. In an honestly open moment, Henry tells Anneliese he has an idol. He asks her if she has one, and she says yes. Sigh. And this one gets to me the worse, they both decide they NEED to tell Locky. WHY?! Coz Locky is loyal to the end. I get it. Also, he’d be pissed everyone in his alliance has an idol and not him. Haha!
REAL HOUSENANNIES OF SYDNEY
Michelle tells us exactly why she is a princess. She wants to use the winnings to build her dream home. Oh the socialite parties she would host there! Where can we get an invite? Her aim to plant seeds in people’s heads to get Ben out is set in motion and much to her surprise, Ben reveals the info about Ziggy’s ‘Ultimate Reward’ and that he thinks it’s potentially a Super Idol. He also tells her he wants Locky out. Ding, ding, ding! Michelle is ready to play!
GIMME YOUR BALLS
I have a feeling this challenge was a little bit of déjà vu for our Ziggy…
I love how Aussie Survivor have turned normally individual challenges into group ones. Samatau struggled as Michelle dropped out after five minutes. Jarrad, the skinniest one there, hung in as long as he could; what a fighter! And can I just say I was so proud of little Tessa! She held her own while the big wigs in Henry, Locky and Ziggy played a juggling act.
Alas, Asaga were too strong. How good were they?! But jeez Tara cheering on Locky during the challenge? I think her tribe mates better keep an eye on her… She’d easily jump back to him come merge.
BILLY GOATS GRUFF GETS THE CHOP
It’s Ben v Michelle in a heated tribal. Henry wants to keep Billy Goat Ben around. Jarrad also has been working on Ben and wants to keep him as a wing man down the track. Jarrad and Ziggy tell Ben to keep cool and not fuck anything up. Michelle is planting seeds in Locky’s head about Ben making a move on him and using Luke as a pawn too. Locky becomes paranoid AF… Over Ben. WTF?! Haha. Locky says Ben is awkward to be around and wants him gone. Anneliese tells him to change the vote just as Ben sits down next to them. LOL. Ben just wants to be seen as more trustworthy than Michelle. But there’s one thing Ben doesn’t have… East coast Water Polo friends.
Ben is different and seems like that real awkward kid I’d totally be friends with at school. At tribal he was very hit and miss, and just couldn’t get his point across well. Michelle on the other hand is much better at talking and was ready to throw anyone under the bus. Michelle airs all of Ben’s dirty laundry, which, moving forward is a very good reason to get her out too! There’s not much Ben can do at this point but pull a fakey!
Just when I start liking Ben he goes home. Always the case isn’t it… He’s a young guy who I think would’ve done better at the game with a few more years under his belt. As for the votes, did Locky and Tess vote for Michelle because they originally were splitting votes to flush out a potential idol? But in the end Michelle convinced the others like Henry to vote out Ben? A bit confusing. Ben-5, Michelle-3.
CRUSH(ES) OF THE WEEK
Everything in the following pic (also, because I’m lazy):
Obviously, my main bae, Ziggy (challenge beast, abs, need I say more?), who I’m so glad is still in the game since AK left. :'( And then there’s Anneliese’s fugly ice-cream tee which I’m in love with and I actually want one now!! Must Google! Princess Michelle owning that tribal and everyone denying the fact that she’s actually doing well. And Ben. Yes, I absolutely adored Ben. I feel like I would be quite similar not knowing how to get my message across in such a pressured environment. Knowing what I want to say, but it all just coming out in a blubbering mess. I can relate, Benny! <3
THE SPICE RACK: WEEK SIX
Follow Annabel on Twitter
Quite frankly, I am an emotional wreck after this week’s SurvivorAU. The King of the Misfits was slain by the Bogan Barron, and then I only came to realise how much I loved Ben moments before he was axed. Why do you hurt me this way? I give you all my unsolicited love, and you just crush my heart like it made you slightly uncomfortable in the first place. Out of vengeance for my fallen sweethearts this week, I am friendzoning the SurvivorAU 2017 cast. That’s right! No 2017 crush. Take that. I’m dedicating all my fan-feelings to my Survivor US season 35 crush, and I hope this is upsetting.
Getting rid of AK was definitely the right move for Luke, Jericho, and Tara. That doesn’t make it any easier to swallow. He shone too bright, was too beautiful, and headed the only alliance that seemed to have potential to pose a serious threat to my fave Bogan Superalliance (Luke, Jericho, Michelle, Tara) post-merge. AK really was the whole package: strategic, likeable, good at challenges, and amazing television. There was no way he was making it far in a 55-day game. I got all teary seeing AK cry in his final words, and really wish he had stuck around long enough to have a say in the winner of this season. But my favourite thing about Survivor (other than the abs) is its unpredictability, and the way I don’t always get what I want makes the victories so much sweeter. In a gesture almost as romantic as the jar of compliments, I’ve written an acrostic love-poem to say goodbye to my main bae:
A – devastating elimination.
K – ind of like when you stick your hand in the crisps packet but there’s none left.
Meanwhile, empowered by the fall of his enemy, Locky’s testosterone is back in full swing, and no nerd is safe. Previously emasculated by the successes of the actual Misfit Alliance (AK, Jarrad, Tessa, Peter), he is out for blood, and like any self-respecting jock, he knows nothing is as satisfying as picking on someone half your size. Taking on Michelle, with a solid alliance on the other tribe, was secondary to getting rid of ‘weird’ Ben. My love for basic babe Michelle only grows every week. The vicious Sydney races social scene has prepared her for the backstabbing, gossiping, and social manoeuvring necessary in Survivor. The original Samatau had every reason to keep Ben and get rid of her: he was a solid number, she was too, but for the other side. But Michelle saw something in herself that she knew Ben could never have: she was cut from the same gorgeous, athletic cloth as the rest of them. She also saw that this was something that mattered to Locky. Watching that tribal council made me feel uncomfortable; it felt like I was watching a bunch of footy jocks throw rocks at the kid with glasses, but miraculously it worked for Michelle. I hope she makes it far.
Glossary
The Friendzone: a fictional space invented by guys who probably wear fedoras and have neckbeards. The general idea is that it is contemptable that someone would just want to be your friend, rather than also wanting to have sex with you.
Bogan: a typical Australian; loves their Holden Commodore, tribal tattoos, smashing tinnies, calls men ‘boys’ and women ‘girls,’ ‘oi bring us back a Bintang singlet will ya?’
Blog by Lynda Olson. Guest writer Annebel Fidler.
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