WEEK 9 and we’re getting to the pointy end of the season! Join me and Annabel’s Spice Rack as we love, laugh and cry over the weeks episodes. And as always the amazing cartoons are by Able and Game http://www.ableandgame.com
EPISODE 19: Days 41-42
SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY
Post-tribal Henry vote out and I find it mildly amusing that Ziggy, on the bottom with Locky and Tara, is shacking up with Sarah and Michelle on the other side of camp. This girl just slots in everywhere, no matter how she votes. Tara’s NOT angry that Henry left and she’s aware he’s a huge threat, but brochacho Locky is pissed! And while everyone is spooning with each other, they each have a dream sequence on how THEY were the mastermind behind Henry’s blindside! Meanwhile Tara is dreaming how she needs to step up her game because she has no clue what’s happening, and Ziggy realises she’s lost a lot of trust and being the big spoon each night just won’t cut it!
THE SPYSHACK STRIKES BACK
Luke’s spy shack is back in working order and he creeps behind Tessa and Ziggy as they converse at the water well. He ‘overhears’ them strategizing and he automatically shuns Tessa from the newly formed Champagne Alliance! Seems like he heard the girls targeting Jericho and da boss ain’t happy!
ALL GIRL ALLIANCE SHAM
Whilst Michelle is celebrating her name popping up on parchments at six tribal councils to date, Sarah falsely tries to work an all-girl alliance… which includes Peter… and excludes Tara. HAHAHAHA. Sarah is a classic. Luckily Michelle and Ziggy thought it sounded like BS too. Sadly, this alliance never transpired! 🙁
GRAB YOUR POLE
Probst loves his poles, and since he and Jono are BFFs, it’s no surprise Jono loves these challenges too! The wind and rain can’t stop these guys and Ziggy wins her second Individual Immunity, beating out Luke and Peter! Is winning challenges enough for Ziggy to win Survivor?? :/
RAISE YOUR BUTTER BEERS
Tara is worried about Sarah and wants Tessa and Peter to join her and Locky. Tessa knows her and Peter are at the bottom of the current majority of six. Unfortunately she’s unaware of Luke’s disdain for her and that he wants her gone ASAP. Nevertheless she brings up splitting the vote between Locky and Tara, pretty much telling Luke and co what to do… And we all know how Luke feels about this! Luke goes along with the ‘fake plan’ of Locky and Tara, but the ‘real plan’ is to get Tessa out. The boys approach Sarah last minute to vote with them and they decide to keep Michelle (who’s all in with the #ChampagneAlliance) in the dark. EEK!
At tribal, Tara decides not to say “it’s an easy vote” anymore, but we are still blessed with her shock reactions! Jericho continues on his war path and wants to assassinate a threat, and that he does. The Cookie Alliance’s three votes is enough to boot their arch Champagne nemesis in a 3-2-2-2 vote! Pre-season fan fave (and Harry Potter fanatic) Tessa is blindsided and sent to the Jury! Don’t ya hate it when your favourite gets booted?!
Did the Cookies know how everyone was voting? Who told Ziggy to vote for Locky? And this clearly wasn’t the best move for Sarah and Luke… But in a season of big moves, I expect nothing less! Tessa-3, Locky-2 Tara-2, Sarah-2.
EPISODE 20: Days 43-44
SURVIVOR CHARADES!
REAL HOUSENANNIES OF SYDNEY PART 2
None of Samatau believe Sarah, Luke or Jericho will vote out Michelle. Ziggy works her waterpolo magic on the house-nanny and Michelle realizes Ziggy could be her new Races BFF, but she is running on emotions at this point. Michelle announces her THREE stages of her Survivor game: 1) play nice, become everyone’s best friend, 2) kick out big threats, 3) make big moves and backstab. #Housenannies of Sydney rule book: Play drink hard or go home.
SURVIVOR 101: HOW TO BURN AN IDOL
Today’s Masterclass involves Ziggy showing us how to burn an idol without even trying.
1) Lose Immunity. -Locky wins his first Immunity Challenge and no one really cares at this point.
2) Ensure your name ISN’T on the chopping block. -Sarah needs Michelle to go home coz she’s burned bridges with her… No Sarah, you burnt that bridge when you left her out of conversations (which actually was very unlike her, she played the field well up to now). Sarah feels a little sad about voting out Michelle, but because she’s kind of an ice queen she’s really not.
3) Pretend your name IS on the chopping block even if you know (or don’t know) it isn’t. -Sarah’s last ditch effort to get Michelle out is to throw Ziggy under the bus saying the two girls are tight.
4) Ensure your name does NOT come up once at Tribal! -Sarah says Michelle’s emotions have gotten in the way of her thinking, but Michelle doesn’t listen to a single word she says… BURN BABY! Michelle asks the tribe, “Sarah’s like a bad ex-boyfriend; do you go back or find something new?” LOL. Somehow Luke is still sitting pretty and Jericho compares the person he’s voting out (*cough, Sarah*) to a drowning cat he wouldn’t save. WOW, BRUTAL AF!
5) Play your Immunity Idol, coz ya know, YOLO! -Ziggy plays her Idol, and refuses to listen to Peter who tells her to play it for Michelle. Oh Ziggy, your choices confuzzle me (I still heart you!!). I wish she had saved it as it would have come in handy before the F5. She will have to continue using Locky as a meat shield! Paranoia has definitely made itself comfortable!! Sarah goes home in a unanimous vote, as her Cookie Crew also let her down. We lose another great gamer! 🙁 Sarah-7, Michelle-1.
EPISODE 21: Days 45-46
ONE-VOTE ALLIANCES
Michelle is ready to bring her A Game to the forefront. Peter wants to work with her and they aim to work with Luke and Jericho. I just love how these guys, even after being burned, continue to work with each other. The Champagne is back on… for now!
Jericho is happy that Sarah was their sacrificial lamb (or cat… dark) as they have a new phoenix rising in Michelle. The bromance between Luke and Jericho is so strong. They are pretty much holding hands and I can feel Annabel’s love for them burning right now…
Locky is sticking with Tara to the end, she’s the only one he trusts left. He doesn’t trust Ziggy one bit but is willing to move forward with her. Tara isn’t happy about Locky barking orders, aka strategising. It’s too hard for Tara to understand so she wants to run! Locky’s actually working up a plan to help Tara and she wants none of it. LOL. Locky, you definitely impressed this week! He has the chops to make it to the end.
TARA’S TEMPTATION
Tara wants Locky gone!! And in a twist of fate, she meets her first moral dilemma, Lollies or Pillows. There’s only 10 days left, ya don’t need pillow and quilts. Tara hoes into the jar! She’s so high on sugar that she approaches Luke and Jericho wanting Locky out. The boys tell her “HEY, this is YOUR move!”
Tara tells Ziggy about her plan, and totally bribes Ziggy with lollies. Ziggy, who does NOT want Locky out, is suddenly all on board!! Like a kid in a candy store! I really, really, really want Ziggy to steal the jar!!!
LUCKY LOCKY
Immunity Challenge is a group/free-for-all memory game. Locky is first to grab the item every time, and Luke is second last, every time! And funnily enough it comes down to Locky and Luke, with the muscle man continuing his run winning his second Individual Immunity!
And after this final Immunity Challenge of the week, Locky is at the top of the Survivor Medal Tally!! Ziggy isn’t far behind equalling Locky’s gold, and poor Luke never received that top honour after coming close three times!
LONG LIVE THE KING
But first, how AMAZING is this Jury?! Probably one of my favourites in a long time!
Back to it, with Locky immune, everyone is freaking out because he was their #1 target; there was no back up! Ziggy and Tara’s plan (more Ziggy’s) is to target the weak, so the stronger people can help beat Locky next challenge. This puts Michelle on the chopping block. Big man Locky doesn’t want Michelle out though, and would prefer a bigger strategic threat in Luke. Ziggy tries to sell Michelle, but just ends up agreeing with Locky. Sigh. Tara then opens her gob and tells Luke that Ziggy and Locky are working together which throws Luke into a frenzy, putting Ziggy in the firing line (where’s that idol now?!). At Tribal I desperately was hoping it was not Luke going home! With only Jericho on his side, the others finally saw him as the biggest threat and we lose the biggest character of the season. Just when the Jury didn’t look amazing enough, Luke’s thrown in. Fucking. Devastated. Luke-5, Ziggy-2.
THE SPICE RACK: WEEK NINE
Follow Annabel on Twitter
This week was basically the Red Wedding of SurvivorAU season 2. I don’t know if we will ever be able to properly emotionally process what just happened, but I am back with the Spice Rack to give it a try. In an attempt to soothe my heartbreak, I will be following my grandmothers dating advice: there is no better way to get over a crush than by getting under another. I will break down who you should be crushing on now that your faves have all been axed.
Tessa –> Peter
My preseason winner pick, my fellow Brit in Melbourne, my beautiful, sassy nerd. I’m still struggling with this one, but fortunately Peter’s perfect bone structure and chiselled physique is helping me through it. Oh Petey, I can’t see him winning this one due to his lack of screentime, but I can 11/10 see him being the most fun person to go clubbing with. But maybe that was just seeing his saucy cage-dancing in BaeK’s Instagram story – you really missed out if you didn’t catch that one. Crushing on Peter is a nice, safe option for those of you feeling vulnerable after this week. Sure, you won’t get the dizzying highs, but he isn’t going to burn you hard either, and you can always be smug you pulled someone that physiologically perfect.
Sarah –> Michelle
Sarah is amazing but too conspicuously amazing – you can’t be that perfect in a Survivor marathon. She would definitely hold her own in a US season, and would 100% be the first person I would nominate for an international showdown. But you can’t fall in love with someone that beautiful, it’s only going to end in tears.
Michelle, on the other hand, is my underrated goddess. The best thing about Michelle is how she can make these mega moves, be so clearly convincing when she argues, but still seems unthreatening because she comes across as a mean, eastern-‘burbs babysitter. But surely she can explain this away in final tribal? We can’t all be nice, unemotional, and inoffensive like Sarah. Some of us have to rely on the force of our abrasive personalities to pull off the impossible. Michelle also has an advanced degree in Locky-ego stroking. This is how you thrive in the Eastern Suburbs. I would be stoked with a Michelle win to be honest.
Luke –> Jericho
WHY SURVIVOR GODS WHY? Who will spoon Jericho tenderly as he sleeps in a pile of illicit crumbs? Who will lick the jam from his sweet lil fingers? That last elimination was singularly devastating. LUKE’S FACE AS HE PRETENDS EVERYTHING IS COOL BUT IT’S NOT COOL. At least we didn’t have to see Jeri cut Luke at the final three, but I am really looking for upsides.
You can tell that Locky was playing football in high school while Luke had too much fun, if their performance in the memory challenge was anything to go by. Same Luke, same. Still can’t believe it wasn’t Ziggy who went home, but I guess it was the right move for Peter. Doesn’t make me any less resentful.
Jericho says he wants to be the driver and isn’t afraid to crash the car (into a bridge) and I DON’T CARE… I LOVE IT!
Why you’ll go ahead and crush on Locky anyway
I’m clearly jealous after one too many weeks of watching my partner lustfully ogle Locky’s biceps, and yet the crushing is getting contagious. Locky manfully (because literally everything he does oozes masculinity) handled the Tessa blindside, secured immunity when he really needed it, and successfully pulled off the Luke vote off. It’s probably a bit late in the game to stop teasing him, but I think he has certainly proven himself to be a more worthy player than the footy bros we had last season.
Now, forget Luke’s trophy wall; Tara is the new Black Widow, and is coming for every guy that tells her what to do. RIP Adam, BaeK, Luke, and perhaps Locky next? The Tara haters can back off because I am ready to wrestle them. Coming into the game as the “Survivor Mom” is always the hardest spot – if you make it past the pre-merge (or didn’t but get brought back by a twist anyway) you rarely win the game. And unless you’re the cuddly, caring type, good luck getting cast in the first place. Tara is not the cuddly caring type, and you better believe the casuals love reminding her. But hating on Tara is normie and boring. When was the last time we got a mean mum? And Tara is more than a mean mum – she’s a flirty mum who buries her face deep in Locky’s abs, reps her hot pink cowboy top, and makes her own barrel racing memes. At the very least, Tara should be your ironic fave. She’s hilarious.
Let me know who your rebound crush is, and why it is Tara!
Blog by Lynda Olson. Guest writer Annabel Fidler.
Follow Able and Game on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ableandgame/
ALL IMAGES USED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE COPYRIGHT CHANNEL TEN & ENDEMOL SHINE. THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG AND ALL GIFS AND VIEWS ARE MY OWN.
