Hey guys, we’re back again this week for another round of Hot Mess Survivor. We were so lucky as fans to be hit with yet another twist in the form of Urns and we said goodbye to an icon in Dani. After watching her Jury Villa I now know what “The Face” is. I’d be scared of her if I were in prison! This week on my Sliding Seven I’m covering my top 7 moments. And praise Macedonian Jesus that Annabel is back with her Spice Rack. Whether you’re in lockdown or not, we send our love <3

SLIDING SEVEN

QUEEN HAYLEY’S REIGN

I’m calling it. Hayley is winning this season. With Dani and Andrew out of the way Hayley has more chance winning the remaining individual immunities to secure her place in the Final 2. I think Hayley has done enough to win in any F2 situation as long as she sticks to her guns and backs every move she makes. This Jury can strike at FTC with their hard-hitting questions and she has burnt many of those players along the way. I’m not too concerned though as she’s clever with her words and doesn’t buckle (too much) under pressure. Somehow Hayley has fought her way back into control of the game after being voted out; my mind is blown! This week the two solid alliances in George/Cara and Dani/Flick were harping on about how their fate is in Hayley’s hands when they could have all voted her out! If in doubt, vote out the swing. But of course, that’s easier said than done. I’m all here for a Hayley/George/Wai F3! <3

WAI WINS IMMUNITY

Did anyone else ugly cry wayching Wai win? She was a good half an hour behind in this challenge that had SO many bloody elements to it, but no one could crack the incredibly hard puzzle at the end. I would’ve been f*cking exhausted by the time I reached it I’d fail at spelling “GURANTEED” too. I felt for Flick as she worked it out in her head, but couldn’t pen to paer. The poor Brawn love. Anywhos, Wai never gave up knowing there was something at the end she could beast. And that she did. We can only hope there’s more puzzles to come in finale week. Wai well and truly deserved that Immunity and it’s something she can cherish forever. YOU DID THAT, WAI. YOU DID THAT. <3

THE FALL OF ANDREW

And we couldn’t be happier. 😛 Don’t get me wrong, I initially was super excited to see Andrew cast and he seems like a nice guy, but man was he like the Sam Webb of 2021. As a fan of Naked and Afraid and survivalist shows I had previously watched snippets of Andrew’s YouTube vids. But I find survivalists thrive in the wild on their own. They are thrown in with maybe one other person and there’s not much social interaction. I had my reservations on how deep Andrew would go purely on social game and in that respect he did exceed my expectations. Unfortunately, for us viewers, Andrew was pretty drab viewing and seemed like a floater. Zzz (I fell asleep writing this paragraph).

LADY THREE SPA RETREAT

Thank you, Tylenol. 😉 Dani has been an absolute beast in reward challenges. Last week the car, this week a threesome. I mean we all wanna know what really went down that night. Hayley is an honorary queer now, right?! 😛 In all seriousness, Dani has won 4 out of the 5 rewards post-merge; 2 of them she won on her own. Flick has enjoyed 4 rewards herself, with 2 of them won by Dani and chosen as a tag-along. Wai has enjoyed 2, and Hayley and George 1. It’s safe to say Dani has been pivotal in tribal challenges and has been an underrated challenge beast. It’s just unfortunate she hasn’t been able to win many individual immunities (1). Dani deserved a luxurious spa getaway before she was ultimately voted out.

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER SAVE

I’ve become desensitised to the amount of twists and advantages this season that I wasn’t even angry about the urns. Four urns at tribal and one with a “Save Scroll”; most likely scrounged up by someone in the art department at last minute once Chelsea left the game. It also seemed like perfect timing again as George was looking to be in danger. Alas, the urns saved Flick (thank the Lords it wasn’t Andrew). I think the Survivor fandom would have more to say if George was miraculously saved for the umpteenth time. We now have three players in the final five who have been voted out and given a second chance, which is so on brand for this hot mess of a season! In saying that I am absolutely rooting for all five who are left, so what the heck, SAVE THEM ALL I say! Haters gona hate.

YEAH, NAH, WHAT’S THE POINT?

I’m of course talking about George giving up in a reward challenge this week. The scene got a lot of people talking and there were plenty of people trying to tear George apart. We even saw Flick bring it up at tribal, throwing George under the bus to 1) tell the Jury that he’s not worth the win and 2) tell Hayley that he’s not worth voting with. The funny thing is that even when he stopped participating in challenges he still received more airtime than those who were actually trying to win! George can do no wrong for the producers. I know people have said “who cares if he drops out, it’s only reward”, but there’s always Jury Management to deal with and I don’t reckon George is gonna pull a Sandra and simply win! But hey, prove me wrong 😉

THAT DARN CAR CURSE

Dani went home. Dun, dun! The car Curse is one of those things that even the most casual of casual fans know about! The US series gave up on car rewards way back in 2007, but the latest iteration of SurvivorAU has given away cars in 4 of 6 seasons. With known superfans left in the game I would’ve loved to have seen some “omg no, a car!!” “holy car Curse” reactions. I’m a firm believer in the Curse and felt sadness as Dani’s game ended as soon as she won the challenge. Nevertheless, she gets to enjoy a brand new car and in SurvivorAU its pretty much like coming 2nd, so win-win. (For those unaware, there is no prize money for 2nd-24th place in the Aussie version. The US series has prize money for 1st boot to 1st place! e.g. runner up wins $100k).

THE SPICE RACK

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This week of SurvivorAU lay the groundwork for what will be, no doubt, a thrilling final 3 episodes. Much like this week of Survivor anti-climaxes, I found myself drawing short on inspiration for the Spice Rack. Naturally, as one does in life or death situations, I called my mother for advice. As she waxed lyrical about terrible lies concerning COVID told to us by politicians, I was struck by sudden genius, and much like SurvivorAU Production and social media, I promptly thanked her for her advice and totally ignored her. This week I try to understand our final 7 through the lens of iconic celebrity gaffes – how do the most public embarrassing moments help us understand ourselves as people, or more specifically, the one-dimensional, under-serviced characters on our screens? Now you will see.

Fun fact: when Googling ‘iconic gaffes’ for some inspiration this week, the first 2 pages of results almost entirely revolved around Prince Phillip. Not today, Satan!

When all those celebrities sung ’Imagine’ on day 6 of quarantine – FLICK

They had good intentions, they thought it would be a hit. Ultimately, if it had to be anyone saved by the awkward skull urns, I guess we are glad it is Flick. But the execution was awkward, and you can’t help but feel the whole thing would have been better with a lot more glitter.

Armie Hammer may want to eat people – ANDREW

This one isn’t really a metaphor, as I suspect Andrew really may want to eat people. At least that would make him even mildly interesting. Having proudly never watched an episode before he was on the show, the only threat Andrew ever posed to his cast mates was in the form of his hungry cannibal claws.

Ashlee Simpson was lip-synching – HAYLEY

This was like, a really big drama when I was in middle school. In fact, there do seem to be a lot of Boomers with the maturity of a middle-schooler big-time upset on Facebook that Hayley is nailing it as George falls from grace (cya later Jessica). Yes, she isn’t afraid to lie. YES, she will take the money. YES SHE DESERVES IT. RIP Ashlee.

Tom Cruise jumped, screaming on the Oprah sofa – GEORGE

Possibly the most memorable moment on this list -Tom Cruise screaming could ONLY be George. Our icon in the doggy shirt, even my coworkers who only watch the adverts ask me for weekly updates on the George-saga. We know it is all downhill from here but we can’t look away.

Ariana Grande licked doughnuts and hates America – CARA

You would think there was no greater crime and yet, we still stan. How many mistakes can someone make before it is all over? The answer is UNLIMITED. I would still die for Cara.

Steve Harvey announced the wrong Miss Universe winner – WAI

I would like to clarify that Wai is the victim, not the perpetrator of this crime. We all foresee her being robbed at the last second, the salt being rubbed in the wound, but I am just intensely grateful we got this much Wai at all.

Vanessa Hudgens says everyone is going to die and we need to get over it – DANI

What Dani sometimes lacked in tact she made up for in pizazz. Probably a little bit evil, definitely a lot entertaining, I found myself secretly crushing on her throughout this season. Get over it.

Blog by Lynda Olson. Guest writer Annabel Claire.

ALL IMAGES USED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE COPYRIGHT CHANNEL TEN & ENDEMOL SHINE. THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG AND ALL GIFS AND VIEWS ARE MY OWN.