Days 1-3

At the Chani (blue) camp, Eve straightaway calls out Jose being the unofficial leader of the tribe which means, THREAT ALERT, YOSEY! Meanwhile, poor Karla is really off to a bad start after chopping her fingers off on Day 1! Thankfully, she stays calm and takes care of it herself. Karla is an independent woman!!!

JT eye spies Arun searching for a hidden idol and approaches him to be in an alliance… And then Eve… and then Dave… and finally Franky! Nice move, JT! All the while, Liam is sitting there all:

Arun tries to lay low after possibly being seen as a leader, which is a huge contrast to Jose who is relishing the role!! Franky can’t handle the constant chatter and after Jose confesses she’d be happy to leave after already ticking off some Survivor boxes you just know this isn’t going to end well for her.

At Khangkhaw, Tessa tries to cover up her fears of living in the wild and can’t wait to get the interior designers in to make it a more homely experience. LUCKILY, they have the brofos Josh and Brad to build a spesh shelter! Tara steps up as not only the true “Survivor MOM” of Survivor NZ (sorry Barb), but also the toilet chief, who picks a glorious spot to dig a hole with a view of the lake. Which also doubles as a bidet, so win-win all around!

Then comes my favourite confessionalist so far, LISA. She talks about how she’s going to play the nerdy superfan mum and tell the others she just wants her family to be proud of her…blah blah, which she knows is crap. Ha! After having a quick sneaky-sneaky for the hidden idol, Tessa asks her about them. Instead of teaming up with Tess, Lisa’s like, NO, DON’T LOOK FOR THEM, DO NOT PASS GO! So she hasn’t watched Survivor in 10 years, but surely she’s just a little bit cluey, right?! I like both these ladies, but I’m worried we’re going to lose one of them early…

As Khangkhaw eat their crunchy rice, I can’t help but notice how white Dylan’s chest is…

REWARD CHALLENGE

Classic 2-on-2 mud challenges and Matt looks overly excited about it all! When it was Adam’s time to go I thought he was waiting back to keep his nice white shirt clean, but after getting dumped he ends up winning the point for Khangkhaw! Amazing.

It’s the girls turn and as Matt says, “they’re all in the drink!”

and bloody hell, Kaysha is FIERCE! If Kaysha was on the Hunger Games, Katniss would’ve been dead within minutes. Khangkhaw win reward (tarp and shiz I think) and celebrate Adam’s birthday!

Back at Khangkhaw, they decide to throw a wild rock party O_O

While Adam is pretending to look like he’s doing shit all at camp, Kaysha and Dylan are on the search for rocks (not for the fire I hope). This includes a ‘strat-chat’ (nice term, Dylan) about which five should align and it looks like the alpha bros + the blonde hottie are on the outs! I’m liking this divide already, but I like them all!

At Chani, the tribe is hating their crunchy rice as they prepare for the Immunity Challenge. Jose tries to pump everyone up being the good leader she is.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

A giant poley obstacle course with a puzzle at the end. I can’t help but be in awe of the beautiful immunity idol!! <3

Khangkhaw ends up winning. Franky stuffed it up for Chani, and Jose is trying NOT to look frustrated… Haha. Luckily for Franky, she’s not seen as the weakest link… Karla is. But we see way more of Jose in the lead up to tribal…

TRIBAL COUNCIL

One, two, skip a few and we’re suddenly in the tribal cave!

Considering the amount of airtime Jose received versus ‘the other’ woman Karla, it’s safe to assume they targeted the biggest threat early on. Liam still craps on about trusting everyone there and Matt calls bullshit. There was no true indication that Jose was going home, and I find it interesting Arun voted for Karla, where his alliance with JT all voted Jose. We lose a powerhouse player and I’m sad to see her go. Would’ve loved to see how far Jose could’ve gone! I had her tipped for at least the merge… So wrong 😛 You could see on her face she didn’t see it coming. Time will tell for Chani if it was the right choice or not. Jose-6, Karla-3.

Survivor Simon Says

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And we are off!!! Back with hidden immunity idols in play, an inland location, no Redemption Island and votes being put in the urn folded correctly dot dot dot hmmm. It would seem that Survivor NZ has shrugged off its Borneo like beginnings and entered into something more similar to the teen years of Survivor in terms of aesthetic. With all due respect to those in season one but these new players have come out firing early. But I am getting ahead of myself…

After a great opening, the first dynamic of note we hear is from Dave and Matt who know each other. There has been a small history of Survivor’s getting on the show and knowing one another, however in those cases of Bret and Laura, and Patrick and Ali it did not get much screen time. Good work Survivor NZ on the different approach. The two guys first thoughts were aimed towards longevity in the game, Matt doesn’t pick Dave in the school yard pick so he can have something cross tribal for later. As a move it would be tempting to have someone from day one, but ultimately I think this was a good move. It allows them not to rest on their laurels (not Johnson) from day one. Other points of note from the school yard pick/opening passage was seeing Dylan picked last. I am sure it’s not the first time he’s been last picked in a schoolyard pick (roasted Dylan).

Early camp life scenes provide some entertainment. The well at Chani camp just looks like Casa De Charmin without the shelter or Bruce and Bobby comatosed at its base. Karla proves to be the Mike Skupin Kourtney Moon of the season. Girl be careful with that machete it’s only day one. (Note to self: I wonder if anyone else was as nauseous seeing that blood spill out of her). JT further distances from his Tocantins namesake playing more like JT’s Robin, in Stephen (sorry Stephen had to make that dig). I loved his initial confessional and approaching Arun for the season’s first official alliance, all though did Arun vote with him here???. He didn’t just stop there, moving onto Eve, Dave and Franky, all while Liam Fabio’d his way through a confessional about nothing taking place. It seems like JT has emerged as somewhat of an under the radar leader in this moment.

On Ka…Kang… the yellow tribe … (I ain’t bothering with that), everything seems harmonious with a mixture of people seemingly overwhelmed or those working away. Tara seemed to take a different approach to Barb last season. She embraces her mother role in the tribe, rather than stomping all over her young tribe members dreams. She seems to have fallen into a group with Kaysha and “LASTY LOSER” (Quote: Someone on Twitter) Dylan. This coupling may just be one of my favourite as they gun for the alphas in the group, who lets face it aside from Matt I can barely remember. Despite these two the break out Star for me on this tribe was Lisa. I am a little bit worried about her that she may be coming across a little bit kooky but she also does seem to come across self-aware. I can only hope that she last with them snarky confessionals slaying Tess. Adam also seems to be an interesting character; he’s bound to entertain even if he is getting the ol fashioned lazy edit thus far.

As for our first boot Jose, as called by Eve very early on in the episode being a leader puts a target on your back. It would seem that Josefien or Jose or Yos had a similar fate to another Jo in Survivor history, that of Jolanda Jones from Survivor Palau. Both picked their Blue tribes on day 1 of the game, became a de facto leader of their tribe before being promptly voted out on day 3. The only other first boot I can see a resemblance to for her would be Carolina Eastwood. Carolina was also loud and unaware of how she came across on her tribe, something Eve pointed out by Eve in terms of Jose. She was also fairly abrasive like Stephanie Lagrossa in the first immunity challenge. To be eliminated over Karla who as last picked, trying to cut off her pinkies like she was Kathy Sleckman, as well as standing out as the oldest (barely) meant Jose must have been doing something wrong. Unfortunately much like both Jolanda and Carolina she found herself on the way out early… in the process of doing so made my prediction of top 3, null and void. Considering the vote breakdown it was ultimately hard to tell what directly led to her downfall, but hey it was nonetheless a satisfying first boot.

Overall I am very happy with the step up this season. While the challenges are still basic they lean more into the Survivor classics. Kaysha was a beast in the mud challenge as for Franky in the immunity challenge, let’s just say it was daylights between that and the first challenge for her. What the hell was with those rocks BTW. The Survivor Triple H cast could have used those things to scare Ben Driebergen from the game. And the hats, while JT’s Ashhurst hat takes the cake, we had a couple of LA dodgers caps, a bright colour Brad cap (the most notable thing about Brad thus far) and a bucket hat from Arun that I am sure Nate will be proud of, (two mentions in one recap Nate). And that Cave tribal…gees I need to stop, all I can say is I cannot wait for next week.

SPICE RACK NZ

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Welcome to both saucy spice grinders and Spice Rack virgins alike! Not only do these contestants score an extra $150k on last year, but they have the privilege of competing for the real prize: Spice Rack Crush Hall of Famer. I mean obviously it is going to be Dylan, and every year it is really Matty C, but we can pretend there are some other contenders, and I am proud to announce my first picks. But for starters, what is with Survivor New Zealand and voting out a total babe first? I may be the last person left holding a torch for Dee, but we were totally robbed of more Jose.

Crush pick #1 – Kaysha
Most crushable aspect: literally the whole package, gorgeous, great taste in allies, a total boss
Potential deal-breaker: yet to be seen whether she is likely to encourage early-morning exercise, but high-risk

Crush pick #2 – Eve
Most crushable aspect: HOT
Potential deal-breaker: potentially low-drama, risk she could end up a Lyndz-crush

Crush pick #3 – Dave
Most crushable aspect: that body, but also big pharma <3
Potential deal-breaker: unironically talks about the banter, will try to recommend protein shakes

Hottest Man-Bun – Arun
I will need to get outside consultation and research on this, as I am not a man-bun specialist (I prefer to adopt a more general, wide-reaching crush practice) but I am fairly sure that the science is pointing towards Arun as the hottest man-bun. We haven’t seen much of him yet, but we have seen that he knows how to string some wood together, and he looks great with hair in or out. You can’t knock that versatility.

Most likely to think KFC & Xbox is a valid date – Liam

Sorry Liam, it’s not.

Oh, and sorry, apparently there is this Stephen guy? Or was it JT, I can’t remember.

Blog by Lynda Olson, Simon Knyvett and Annabel Claire.

ALL IMAGES USED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE COPYRIGHT TVNZ AND SCOTT MCAULAY. THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG AND ALL VIEWS ARE MY OWN.