Week 5 and the contestants are really ramping this game up. And I get angry!

Episode 12: DAY 26-27

Wow, lots of camp life this episode, and to be honest a bit too much for my liking! We don’t need to see Kate shake a coconut and I think the sleeping arrangements scenes went for far too long, but I can see they were trying to show the cracks in the strong Saanapu tribe. Poor Kylie; it’s true, you don’t get rewarded for doing the right thing and only get picked on when something goes wrong. I was a little confused as to why she didn’t move closer to Nick. He couldn’t have smelled that bad; I mean, they all do at this point, right?!  Anyway, this is a perfect opportunity for JL to slot herself in with the main Saanapu alliance. I know we saw her last week trying to form some sort of bond with Kylie, but why work with someone who is on the outs and has no other ties.

Over at Vavau, Conner is mad at Kate for NOT sticking to the plan!

But there is still a consensus amongst the Vavau majority that Phoebe needs to go home next. Little do they know that the new Queen P is playing them all!

Craig has spent six days looking for the idol. Phoebe knows he’s looking for it and giggles. Phoebe starts to make new connections starting with Conner. Hello flirt card. Unfortunately I don’t think Conner’s going to budge. Conner says he wants to work with her, but if the others want her out he’ll vote with them. Phoebe asks him to tell her if they’re voting for her so to not be blindsided (and so she can play the idol); Conner happily says yes.

At Saanapu, the girls are all perving on Lee fishing and call him Tarzan. Let’s face it, he’s a sexy beast! Matt says Brooke is shot gunning everyone. Wow, rude even for a joke. Brooke thinks “Charlie” is jelly of the hot guys who have all his angels focus. The girls reconsider aligning with Matty. Are the editors trying to tell us that Saanapu are going to lose immunity this episode?! #notworking

I am Lee. Hear me roar! [Image credit: Network Ten]

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

Thirty minutes in and we finally have the immunity challenge. Craig eye rolls for the 50th time at Nick’s reaction to Andrew’s boot.

One tribe member uses a catapult to launch coconuts to another member, who throws it through a window to another member (opposing tribe member blocking), who then runs across a balance beam where the remaining opposing team members push sandbags to knock them off. Fall off? You start again. First to place five coconuts in a row at the end grid wins (like connect 4). Brooke, JL and Matt sit out.

With Lee as the thrower and Kylie being a little fireball, Saanapu take the lead pretty easily. Conner struggles, albeit saving two loose balls. He forget to look for the sandbags before running across the balance beam and falls twice. Kylie places the last ball for Saanapu and they win Immunity.

Conner, the artful dodger. [Image credit: Network Ten]

Back at camp Conner blames himself for the loss. Phoebe and Kristie talk about how everyone will be voting against them. Phoebe needs to find out who they’re all voting for and play her idol accordingly. Conner tells Phoebe they’re voting  for her… On one side, OK. He is so sure she doesn’t have an idol. On the flip side, why would you tell someone they’re going home?! It’s so much cooler as a blindside! Also, don’t tell your enemy the plan.

Craig catches on and he asks Conner if he told Phoebe, and again they talk about her definitely not having an idol. I’m getting Wentworth vibes! Conner has been made a fool on both tribes now.  Kristie who is here to back up Phoebe’s lie then gives a Logie Award  winning performance in front of the Vavau Four. Tears and all. She then goes and “comforts” Phoebe who is rightfully playing the idol. At this point we don’t know who the girls are voting, but it’d be funny if it were Conner. The Vavau Four can’t figure out how to spell Phoebe. Practice guys! Phoebe hugs everyone to say bye. So sad…

Kristie for Gold Logie! [Image credit: Network Ten]

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Sue calls Saanapu the A-Team and rightly so as Vavau have now lost 7 challenges in a row. Craig looks exhausted. Is Kristie a better actor than Evan? Jono asks if there is a pecking order in Vavau, Craig says no. He then asks Phoebe and she gives the best loser answer. No one can spell phoebe right. Jono asks if anyone wants to play an idol. Phoebe looks around and reaches for her bag and pulls out the idol. Craig looks like he’s gonna cry and everyone is in shock. Phoebe has a big smile on her face! And even bigger WOW, I did not expect Craig’s name to come up! I am flabbergasted. Sadly, Craig goes home in a massive blindside, and we all weep! Craig-2, Phoebe-4.

Miss you, bitch. [Image credit: Network Ten]

Episode 13: DAY 28-29

Post tribal and Phoebe tells everyone she found the idol without a clue. Kristie then says she knew about the idol and Sue is on to Kristie, especially about her crocodile tears (Miss Weepy Head). Kristie should have stuck with the lie and said no. Her story just isn’t adding up for the remaining Vavau Three. What made me laugh is that Conner now wants everyone to work together, but Phoebe’s like no thanks! Kristie also tells Phoebe they work well together and there’s totally some eye rolling there.

At Saanapu, Nick is feeling malicious saying he’s happy seeing Vavau being decimated.

Back at Vavau, Phoebe sees Kristie doing some weird shit in a tree. Kristie is actually fishing, with Rohan’s pants which she made into a net. Not a very good net might I add as no fish is being caught. It’s hard for Phoebe to use Kristie as a goat. She’s crazy, but not as crazy as Phillip Sheppard!

Rohan’s pants don’t seem to attract any fish… [Image credit: Network Ten]

REWARD CHALLENGE

Saanapu laugh because Craig’s been voted out 🙁 Two members at a time from each tribe compete in a memory test, first to 5 win. Reward is a Samoan feast including pork, lobster and octopus. Kylie, El, Flick and Lee sit out.

In a nutshell. 6 items to memorise: Nick v Conner; Nick wins. Brooke v Sue; Brooke wins. Matt v Kate, Kate wins (spewin’ Matty!). 7 items: JL v Phoebe; Phoebe wins. Sam v Kristie; Sam wins after a redo. Nick v Phoebe; Nick wins. 8 items: Brooke v Kate; Brooke wins. Saanapu wins reward 5-2.

Saanapu look like a winning tribe on day 1, not 28. [Image credit: Network Ten]

The Samoan feast looks amazing. Look at that whole pig! The crackling, the lobster and crabs! I am drooling.

At Vavau, I’m thinking they should just eat that chicken roaming around camp. There’s not many people left and they should know a merge is coming soon. Phoebe is so frustrated with the never-ending losses. Kristie goes and finds some treats for the tribe; escargot. The tribe love it and cheer up for about 5 minutes.

Cue the pig carcass. Everyone is feeling sick. Brooke looks dead with her eyes glazed over, Lee is funnily enough still eating, and Sammy is throwing up in the gutter!

Delicious. [Image credit: Network Ten]

Day 29 at Saanapu and Kylie feels like having a chat to the girls and takes a seat with Flick, El and JL. She brings up a possible all-female alliance, as there are only 5 men left in the game. She is shutdown to the max. They don’t even acknowledge the thought. But we all know they ultimately don’t want to be in an alliance with Kylie, female or mixed! Poor woman needs a merge ASAP!

At Vavau, Kristie says she can’t lie and Sue calls her out on Phoebe’s idol. Phoebe, being the snake she is (and I love it) starts throwing Kristie under the bus to take the target off herself. She then tells Conner that Kristie needs constant management. And Conner buys it all. He’s that same kid on day one who followed Flick’s manipulating ways.

IMMUNITY/ADVANTAGE CHALLENGE

It’s eight losses in a row for Vavau. Four castaways from each tribe paddle a boat out as far as they can. The remaining opposing tribe member needs to run and untie ropes to start pulling back the boat. They then grab the bag of puzzle pieces to complete a turtle puzzle. All the work is done by the one person in charge of pulling the ropes. Brooke, Sam, JL and Matt sit out. This is getting ridiculous.

It’s Nick v Kate in this race! Jono wasn’t clear enough to the other castaways as both tribes don’t realise they have to row out straightaway to get as far as possible. Everyone is just sitting casually in the boats. Nick pulls away first and has Vavau back to his platform. Kate’s back too and it’s puzzle time. I don’t even need to say it, but Nick, the puzzle master, wins immunity for Saanapu. They find out that the advantage is one member gets to sit in on the Vavau tribal. I’m guessing they also have a say in either who goes home or who stays.

Kate just can’t catch a break. [Image credit: Network Ten]

At Vavau, Kristie tries and throws Phoebe under the bus. She’s running around like a headless chook. Sue is not coping with all the lies and deceit and it’s all getting too much for the gran. Conner assures Phoebe she isn’t going home. Phoebe wants both of them to lie to Kristie. She tells Kristie that Conner is with them and voting for Sue. Phoebe is doing an awesome job and Miss Manipulator. She’s playing everyone like a fiddle.

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Brooke sits in from Saanapu (would’ve been nice in this 90-minute episode to see how they came about choosing her, but whatevs!). Jono asks Sue why she deserve to be in the final four of Vavau. She can’t come up with a decent answer. Kristie is asked the same thing and mentions being an asset in challenges and a team player, then says she’s been honest and stuck to her word… The look on Suzie Q’s face! Kristie then admits she didn’t know last tribals idol play was going to happen and she defends herself to max breaking point. She looks as if she’s going to have a panic attack!

Now, I don’t know if Jono was struggling getting answers out of anyone this tribal, but when he brings up Phoebe’s idol play previous tribal and how well she’s playing was one of the most unfair and dumbest things I’ve seen. It completely threw Phoebe under the bus and outed her game giving Brooke a completely different perspective of her. Thanks Jono!! And to make matters worse he announced that there will be no vote tonight and no one will be going home. RAGING! Brooke’s advantage is to choose someone from Vavau and take them back to Saanapu. Brooke tosses up between Phoebe, but after Jono’s news on how well she’s played, she chooses Sue. Thanks Jono!! This changes Phoebe’s path of making any merge…

“Pick me, pick me!” [Image credit: Network Ten]

Episode 14: DAY 30-31

Night 29. Brooke brings Sue home and everyone seems surprised. Brooke tells them it was a toss up between her and Phoebe. And as expected, Sue was chosen as an easy disposal. Kylie, start talking. Share your ever-decreasing bed space, now! You need another friend. At Vavau, you can hear the remaining four laughing in disbelief. Kristie feels she was going home. Phoebe is in control and is still gunning for Kristie to go next. This girl doesn’t stop!

So strange to see day 30 and no merge. Phoebe tries to talk to Kristie and they almost burn the camp down! I find it hilarious that Phoebe kept eating beans while Kristie tries to control the fire.

No one will ever know… [Image credit: Network Ten]

At Sanaapu, Suzie Q is slowly settling in. Nick is  bitter with her and wants to clear the air. Sue said she voted for him because he lied to her a few times (totally understandable…). Nick says he’s not angry or bitter, but her reasoning does not make sense to him. In a very passive aggressive mum voice, Sue tells him to “lower his voice” coz he’s yelling. Nick says that’s Sue admitting guilt. Not bitter at all! Nanna’s still got a lot of fight.

Gran is not coping with angry Cesternino. [Image credit: Network Ten]

 IMMUNITY/REWARD CHALLENGE

One castaway at a time will spin a post around until a bag of puzzle pieces is released. Cross a rolling beam and spin another post for a second bag of puzzle pieces. Carry both bags over stepping posts to get to the final mat. Once your team has collected all bags, one person to complete puzzle. Reward is a Hungry Jacks breakfast spread at a waterfall, including ham and cheese toasties, egg and bacon muffins and coffee. Kylie, Lee, Nick, Sue, El and Flick sit out.

Conner and Sam start the precedings, and Conner is whipping around that post like a Ferris wheel on steroid! At one point Magic Matty stumbles over, twice. Love watching these challenges, so many stacks! Phoebe and JL are last to complete the obstacle course and JL actually beats her to the mat. Puzzle time and it’s the other puzzle master, Matt, versus Kate. They made this look closer than it actually was and Matt win it for Saanapu. Make this 9 losses in a row for Vavau. Devastating.

Matty needs to stop drinking before challenges!! [Image credit: Network Ten]

The reward at HJ Falls looks pretty damn good. Hash browns got me! Sue says it’s the first food reward she’s had in 31 days, but I’m pretty sure she had those Junior Whoppers a couple of weeks ago? It’s OK if granny forgets.

At miserable Vavau, Kate gives Conner all her invisible trust to him in an odd hand swap. Then Queen P floats in and knows she has to vote Kristie with the other two. She reassures Kristie that she has Conner on side to vote out Kate. Kristie wants to chat to Kate as she really wants to work with her; Phoebe says NO. Kristie seems suspicious of her reaction. So of course she speaks to Kate. Kate tells her that Phoebe told everyone to vote for her at last tribal. Kristie calls Phoebe a bitch! :O Kate then realizes Phoebe is the black widow and has weaved a web of lies. Phoebe works on Conner again and he promises he’s voting Kristie. Kristie takes Conner aside and tells him to target Phoebe as she has everyone wrapped around her finger. Awkward chat ensues between Kristie and Phoebe, but Kristie’s not going to be a goat. “Phoebe thinks she can play me? Well I can play her better” creepy face.

Kristie workin’ Phoebe, and the camera. #KristieForGoldLogie [Image credit: Network Ten]

TRIBAL COUNCIL

This was a pretty predictable tribal council and nothing that surprising was sad. Vavau have been pretty vague with answers in the past and same goes for this tribal. I think we all knew Phoebe was going home tonight. She probably played the game the hardest up to this point, from her strong position in Aganoa, to the bottom feeders in Vavau and saving herself twice with hidden idols. Unfortunately, the lies and her brazen gameplay mixed with the appalling producer twist and Jono revealing her game at tribal all caught up with her and she goes home in a unanimous vote. Such a shame she just misses out on the merge. Phoebe-3, Kristie-1.

Goodbye, Aussie Queen P! You will be missed. [Image credit: Network Ten]

“NEXT TIME ON… AUSTRALIAN SURVIVOR”: The REAL Merge happens. I have a feeling Kate, Conner, Sue, Kristie and possibly Lee and El form some sort of alliance. And it looks like a Survivor Auction!

SURVIVOR DANS THOUGHTS

“What a disappointing week of Australian Survivor 🙁 We lost two of the best players in the game; if not the best two players in the game due to unfair twists and producers messing with the game of Survivor way too much. I’m hoping now that there is a merge that Saanapu fall apart instead of picking off the remaining three Vavau’s. I still have hope yet that the show can come back and redeem itself. With both Craig and Phoebe gone, two people I could of seen winning, my money would now be on Brooke and Sam.”